Betty Strickland: Out with All the Kids

My teenage friends from church were my real friends. I liked my friends at school, but we were not as close to each other as I was to my friends at the church(Trinity Assembly of God.) Because we didn't do all the things my friends at school did, i.e., dances, movies, and parties, when we could, we would "hang out" together. That's how we knew if we or others were starting to "backslide." If we started to go to all these things, it was symptomatic of beginning to get cold spiritually and look to the world for pleasure instead of to church, Christian friends, and Jesus himself.

Now, Before you knock it, you should at least examine the thinking we had and not "throw out the baby with the bathwater." There were good things about that and some overly judgmental things. Kenneth Hagin used to tell us to have as much sense as an ol' mule. You've got to "eat the hay, and spit out the sticks!" A large percentage of those kids have become Christian leaders and strong examples of godly living in their chosen fields of endeavor.

Going out together after church became easier as we got older and got our driver's licenses and older model cars. The older teenagers would drive us to whatever we were attending and the younger ones loved it. Many of our older teen friends were very good to us, even though we were unable to pay them back. I still appreciate it and encourage others to take the younger kids and treat them like they are important, not like they are a weight and a pain, and totally in the way.

My dad travelled a lot, so a lot of times my mom would go out to eat after church with us kids. They didn't mind and neither did I. She either was or had been their Sunday school teacher and they all respected her and liked her.

So it wasn't unusual for her to be with us at a restaurant on Admiral St. after church one Sunday night. It was "Across the Street." That was the name of the place. You sat down in booths and each booth had a phone on the wall that you used to call in your order. When your order was ready, they would buzz your phone and someone from your table would go to the counter to pick up your order. No wait staff was required.

On this particular night, my mother was the only adult with us and we were taking up a section of 2 or 3 tables. When the order was placed, mom ordered onion rings. This place had great onion rings, really different than any we had seen before. They were great big, thick and delicious. The one catch to those onion rings was that they charged 3 times as much as any other restaurant for onion rings. But they were good. As a matter of fact, it makes me hungry for one right now.

Anyway, they buzzed our phone, and some of the teenagers went up to get the food. When they came back with the trays of food and began to hand them out, mom wanted to know if those kids ate some of her onion rings between the counter and the table. There were only six onion rings on that plate. Now like I said, they were big, and they were good. But they weren't that big and they weren't that good! Everyone was looking at her plate still on the tray, and the guys that carried it swearing that they didn't eat those rings. Mom said, "Give me my plate," and started for the counter.

You should have seen the shock on everyone's face. They had never seen anyone challenge a place like that. "What she gonna do? they asked. Well, the only thing new about this to me was that my friends were surprised. I said, "Well, when she comes back, she will either have her money back or a whole lot more rings on that plate." "No way!" everyone was hollering and now were standing up in the seat of the booth or in the floor where they could see what she was going to do.

When she got to the counter, she stood there for a few seconds and the workers were just going on as if she wasn't there. Some were talking to each other and ignoring her. Others were busy with other orders. She stood there for a few seconds and when they didn't acknowledge her presence, popped that plate down on the counter top, just hard enough to make the onion rings jump up in the air and back down on the plate. When she did that, it froze everyone behind the counter, and they all looked at her with wide eyes. She simply said with authority, "I didn't order a half order of onion rings. I ordered a full order. Three people ran over there to get her plate, saying "Yes, Ma'am, Sorry, Ma'am, and Right Away, Ma'am! When she brought that plate back, there were enough onion rings on the plate for everyone to have a few.

Well, our group nearly fainted. "She's tough." "My dad wouldn't even do that." and mostly just "Woe, baby! Did you see that." I enjoyed everyones' reaction even back then, but now I know how unusual it was to grow up with parents who were willing to pay for good things, but when what was paid for was not delivered, to stand up for a just and fair settlement of the issue. And I don't mean a law suit, either. My mom knew how to "set her jaw," point her fingers at the counter, lower her voice like the Godfather, and look anyone in the eye, and 'splain things. There has not been very many times when I was around that she didn't get what she was asking for. This was not pride or a better-than-you type of attitude. It was a demand for justice and fairness.

That is why it was so foreign to me when, in the 60's and the 70's these movements for women's liberation started. My mom was already liberated. Sometimes you even felt sorry for the fool salesman or clerk who tried to trick her or talk to her like "you are a woman - you can't understand." Even then, she did not lose her cool. But she didn't back down, either. How liberated can you get?

She still has a strong sense of worth and I picked up some of that from her. I am proud to be her son, and to have passed some of that same dignity on to my children and hopefully to my grandchildren. I'm proud and I'm very, very thankful.